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music, Uncategorized

SACRÈ FÜCKIN’ BLÈU IT’S GAY PAREE

Sacrè Fückin Blèu It’s Gay Paree

Gay Paris here we come. Im one of those few mental drivers that actually like driving around Paris.
I know fully why people hate it, the cars parked on the corners so you cant get round. The amount of reversing up roads because some cunt has yet again blocked the route by just abandoning their motor. (Great fun with a trailer on).
Then there’s the car drivers themselves Jesus wept. Add to that the fuckin motorcycle and scooter riders. Now I ride a bike but fuck me backwards. These cunts will squeeze not the smallest of spaces. And they sit in the gap between the trailer and the bus. You check your mirror all clear check the other. Start to move on glance back at the 1st mirror and Pierre with his mrs sitting side saddle is quite merrily sitting in the most dangerous place to plonk yourself. Totally bonkers, but what you do have in Paris. When you cut someone up, or they cut you up there’s horn blowing, fist shaking, shoulder shrugging and then you carry on. Unlike London where the other person will stop get out and attempt to kill you, all for the sake of a second faster into the next que.
This happened to me on a tour. I’d just picked the band up so was only going about 20 MPH and the hill I was going up didn’t help. A car overtook me after sitting behind me for a few minutes (there was plenty of room and opportunity to pass) gets in front slams on his brakes, jumps out all roided up and angry
“Why you going so slow?”
“I can’t go any faster up the hill mate”
“Why you going so fuckin slow man?”
“I’ve just told you, I’m going up this hill”
At this point one of the girls on the bus came down stairs to see why I’d stopped
“What’s up?”
“No idea! This guys going off at me for going too slow”
Then Tweedle Dumber gets out of the car, and his skank headed crack whore starts shouting at him to get back in the car.
“Is this bloke disrespecting you, I’ll fuckin have him man, he’s disrespecting you man”
At this point I’m confused as I’ve done nothing wrong and I’m about to get a slap from 2 big pumped up fuckers. All I could think was fuck this for a game of soldiers. 1st day of the job and it really isn’t worth the hassle.
I put the bus into gear thinking well they ain’t going to win an argument with 18 ton of steel. Even if it is only going walking pace.
Then Tweedle dumb just sticks his fingers up at me and got back into his car, Tweedle dumber did the same shouting that he’d kill me if he saw me again.
Then they wheelspun off and turned down the next road.
“Are you OK?”
“Yeah just confused and a bit shook up”
Ah the normal every day trials and tribulations.
Right we’ve got parking at the venue. Le Trianon in Monmartre good luck with that one.
Sure enough we had barking right outside of the venue. Excellent the night watchman parked me up and gave me power out of the top window. 32amp heavy cable get in, took a bit of hauling to get it over the bus, all electric heating.
The venue itself is only of those lovely old theatres. Big paintings everywhere and over the ceiling. It’s going to be a bit hard sleeping tho! I’m parked right on the road.
It was again good show and a bit of partying went on as Tricky lived inParis for quite a few years, he knows his way around but I don’t think much of his French.

are we a fuckin bus yet | This usually proceeds a long drive through the

http://areweafuckinbusyet.wordpress.com/

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