Bam, bam——Bam, bam, bam.
Tim how do I get from Earls court to my car. I thought I was getting dropped off at the yard,I really need to go home and sort out stuff that’s already 2 months overdue.
Good point, well presented was the reply.
In the end it was train to Southampton then a lift to my car. Which I dived into and took off for the Midlands like a rocket.
I’ve got 1 night at home which is a 3 hour ride away.
Spend my day off rushing about sorting legal shit out. Oh the glamour!!
Back to Romsey and pick the bus and trailer up. Off to Frankfurt, spend the night in the services just outside then pick the band up at the airport the following day easy.
I took over the driving just by the M3 then off to the ferry.
All’s good fly through France then Belgium pick up ciggies and baccy. Nice drive through Germany
“Hey Steve what time you going to be at the hotel?” Glenn the TM
Once I’ve parked up and had 11 hours break.
“Errr we need picking up bro! We’ve only got 1 room booked and a load of gear in the lobby.”
“Errrrrr I’m not picking you up until tomorrow, oh I get it damn yeah I can just about make it to the hotel in my hours, we got parking and power there?”
“We can sort of park in the bus bay, there’s no power though”
“Yeahhh when you get here you’d better take a look”
Day 1 here we go.
I get close to the hotel there’s signposts to and now they’re gone. Up this road errrr nope, swing round hotel is right by the side of me and now it’s behind me. This is fuckin’ stupid. It’s a massive hotel and there’s no signposts to the entrance.
“Hi Steve are you anywhere near?”
“Dude I’m on my 3rd pass and I can’t find the fuckin road to the hotel!”
“I’ve got the promoter here he can guide you in.”
Actually he couldn’t I tried all the roads leading to the hotel. In the end I went up a ramp that said no buses and through a no entry to find the fuckin’ place.
“I don’t think we can stop in that bus bay, the businesses will be pissed off if you park there for 11 hours.”
Off to the service station it is then. Grab some food then off to bed.
Roll out in the morning off to the show I’m tired so I didn’t watch the show. The guys are back on at 1.30 then off and on and off and on. They introduce themselves and spot the camera in the windscreen of the bus.
Bam and Alex aka Rubbish heap walk round the front of the bus, start arguing. Rubbish smashes a bottle which they then roll over fighting. Bam gets back on the bus arm bleeding profusely with a big chunk of glass sticking out of it. This wound got worse throughout the tour and only started healing with a good scar in the last 3 days.
The cops turn up wondering what the fuss is. Then leave after having their photos taken with Bam. Got some footage with the crew dancing along with the Algerians who were celebrating a win in the football.
Nikki Bams wife is standing on the roof of a car baring her arse to all and sundry.
The Algerian wide boys seemed very pleased at this. And to be fair it’s definitely not the worst arse I’ve seen.
Everybody’s in the road celebrating. Every car was stopped and made to sound it’s horn whilst surrounded by Algerian fans.
We roll out about 2 Resplendent with football fans hanging off my trailer. They’ve bent my mudguard the fuckers.
Get to the festival site at about 3:30.
5:30 Novak and Rubbish are on the hunt for booze and class A’s. And this sets the theme for the rest of the tour.
Novak comes wibbling back to the bus swigging from a wine bottle he’d robbed from backstage.
“See the guy in the baseball hat?”
“We just tried to score coke off him!”
“He wasn’t too happy, he’s the promoter of the festival”
“Well I suppose there’s nothing like advance warning the promoter what chaos is about to happen on his site, what did he say?”
“He said no the fuckin’ Pussy. So I stole this wine. From backstage!”
(There is a lot of this sort of behaviour on the tour. It is highly amusing)
Watched the show today. The sight of Novak crowd surfing wearing nothing but a pair of women’s fishnet tights and his hat holding his ever present bottle of wine up so he didn’t spill it, will forever haunt me.
Good show the crowd seemed to enjoy it immensely, I met a few people I knew and a reoccurring meeting with Benji from Skindred.
Islington academy. Oh boy what a cock ache this place is. They give you the bare minimum time they can for parking.
The band were really good didn’t smoke in the venue, finish the show, go outside for a fag, security start hassling them to move out of the loading dock. Then 2 guys started getting rough much to everybody’s amusement. Novak started to get riled.
Now he is a streak off piss, but he hit Murray over the head with a wine bottle and he’s his friend.
So he’s not adverse to using a bit of violence to get his point across.
He was heading towards the two security guards bottle in hand when Glenn the TM headed him off at the pass. Then Bam comes off the bus all guns blazing.
“This is outside, why the fuck are you being stupid about this. Here is outside, and there is outside. What’s the fucking difference?”
He gets bored of arguing grabs the band and crew and they head off to a bar.
Security knock me up out of bed saying its 1am I must leave.
“Sorry mate they’re not on the bus, I can’t go anywhere yet!”
“What? You must leave now, you. Are only supposed to be here until 1. There are deliverys coming in.”
“Mate I can’t leave until my passengers are on!”
He wondered off not very happy
As it happens at 2:30 when I did leave. There hadn’t been any deliveries so I hadn’t caused any inconvenience.
Sonisphere we drive through to the backstage where we’re met by a chap,who,was supposed to park us up.
Festival guy “How can I help, you?”
Me “We need drugs!”
“Drugs man we need drugs!”
“Errrr! That’s more a question for artist liaison, can you park by that generator please”
This has got to be my favourite response to a question that will be asked many times before this tour is played out.
Fuckin’ 16 amp only, It’s red hot. Everybody’s going to slow cook in their bunks at this rate. So I pinch a 32 from the headline acts.
Fuckin festivals. The bus is like a solar fuckin oven without AC. The band can’t get their dressing room until a couple of hours before they’re on. And have to be out a couple after they come off, in the meantime they need the bus.
And that’s where cunty bollox here has to sleep as well. I love waking up in a pool of my own body fluids. Just as well as it’s a regular occurrence.